


How to Fail Remedial Goodness 101

by MsrTenOverSix



Series: How to Fail Remedial Goodness 101 [1]
Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Gen, School, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:49:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21910240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsrTenOverSix/pseuds/MsrTenOverSix
Summary: Patience, she had to remind herself. The key here was patience.
Series: How to Fail Remedial Goodness 101 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1585399
Comments: 7
Kudos: 57





	How to Fail Remedial Goodness 101

Patience, she had to remind herself. The key here was patience.

Fairy Godmother knew that patience, above most things, was required when it came to education. She had not lived so long or learned so much as to become the headmistress of Auradon by being impatient. When it came to "Being Good", being patient was just as vital as being kind, gentle, and optimistic.

And these poor children needed all the goodness she could offer. These poor, lost, stubborn, wayward, scheming–

“Now,” she continued with a pleasant chirp, “When learning how to smile it’s _very_ important to –”

“I already know how ta smile!” An indignant voice cut in. Again.

“Harry, we’ve already talked about raising our hands.” She sing-songed, determinedly jovial in the face of his haughty expression.

He immediately raised his hook. The _very same_ hook that had been confiscated twice already.

_Are you goddamn serious, you little punk?_

She mentally made a note to send him to detention again following this class. She was absolutely certain his "I lost my way" act would no longer be accepted there. They'd only been fooled for the first three or so weeks.

Whatever her inner thoughts may be, she realized that she still had to reward any instance of rule-following. Reluctantly.

Forcing an even brighter smile onto her face: “Yes, Harry?

“I’m telling you; I already know all abou' smiling! I aced Evil Auras: 'How to Scare Anyone with Just a Look' back on the Isle.”

He gestured excessively with his hands, which Fairy Godmother had come to accept was just a part of his routine. He also turned and cast disbelieving looks at his friends. To his left, Uma looked distinctly unimpressed. But that seemed to be her general expression, at least to Fairy Godmother's understanding. Still, the captain did stick up for her first mate,

"It's true; we both did. It's a signature move for pirates, you know? That, and laughing."

Oh, bubbles! She didn't even want to imagine the mess that would come with trying to address their laughter. Already, several traumatized students had reported to the school counselor to seek therapy after having heard it firsthand. 

She needed to redirect. Stay focused, which was definitely something they could benefit from in their life. 

“Well, I’m afraid you’ll find that there’s a bit of a difference between an evil smile and a good smile.” Just stay perky and keep smiling and everything would be alright. That was the Hero way. 

Harry and Uma exchanged skeptical looks, while Gil stared at her with the same dazed expression he wore every single day. Still, thrilled at not being interrupted, _for once_ , she pressed on,

“A good smile has no malice behind it.”

Harry frowned, clearly not understanding. Uma remained unimpressed and Gil's expression didn't change even the slightest. 

She only just refrained from sighing, almost biting out the next part: “That means thinking **no** evil thoughts while smiling.”

All three students stared at her in total disbelief, mouths open, clearly struck dumb.

Of course, Harry recovered quickly.

“What about an itty bitty one?” Clearly, he was trying what he'd learned in his Virtues class - compromise. She could almost give him credit for that. Almost.

“Absolutely not.”

All three looked beyond dejected then, as if realizing how impossible their situation was. Fairy Godmother sympathized with them a bit. 

“Oh, don’t look so blue. It’s not nearly so hard as you’re imagining." She paused, thinking, before an idea came to her. Clapping her hands together in glee, she whirled around, "I know, let’s start with this. I want each of you to think of a pleasant, happy thought-”

Harry’s hook shot into the air before she could complete the sentence. This time, a bit of paper had been stabbed to the end.

“About that; I have a slip!”

Steeling herself for the worst, she plucked the bit of tattered paper from the sharp metal, glancing down at it. It took a moment to bypass the rather wonderful penmanship to understand the message relayed. Instantly, she had to close her eyes to prevent a breakdown.

Patience. Patience. _Patience_.

“Your father has given you," _deep breath_ , "express permission... to not have any pleasant or happy thoughts.” Her voice was flat with disbelief.

“It could lead to pixie dust and flying.” Hook responded, as earnestly as the pirate could (which really wasn’t very).

Uma glanced at him, raising a brow and scoffing.

“It’s a gateway!” He insisted, and Fairy Godmother realized he was being entirely serious.

Gil looked horrified beside him, mouth never having shut from his earlier shock. “I don’t like heights,” he chimed in, “My dad won’t let me climb anything tall.”

_Smack!_

Okay, so she had tapped her pointer perhaps a bit harder than usual on their table, but at least it instantly drew their attention back to her. 

“If you let me get through the lesson, we’ll have plenty of time for questions afterwards.” Hopefully, there wouldn’t be much time at all. “May I continue?”

A pause. Then a raised hook. This time, she did sigh.

“Yes, Harry?”

“If I’m smiling while I bite part of someone’s face off, that makes it okay, right?”

“OH, FOR THE LOVE OF–”

**Author's Note:**

> They'd be awful students. Even without trolling.
> 
> Interested in a follow-up? Comment below. 
> 
> Also thinking of doing some more serious pieces on this world. It's a fascinating setup, really.


End file.
